So this isn't too far back of a flashback, but a week and a half will have to do. I wasn't going to blog about this, but seeing that I have a million friends who are pregnant I thought it appropriate.
I went to the Dr. last Wednesday to find out the sex of our baby and I'm pleased to announce that IT IS A GIRL!!!!!! Seeing how we were having such a battle with names...boys names that is I figured it would be a girl to let the battle go. Well, the battle continues...so much for that. So YAY...it's a girl. The Dr. was taking a really long time checkin stuff out and he was printing out a crap load of ultrasound photos and wasn't talking very much. When he only gave me two photos, I had a crappy feeling that something was up.
He said, "clean up and sit down...I need you to concentrate and listen very carefully". Uh Oh.
He starts by telling me that my kid has "a few issues", there is a cyst in her brain, calcium in the heart and the kidney isn't quite functioning as it should be. All alone these aren't a big deal but when they are all on one child it increases the risk of having a down syndrome child one hundred fold. Um...ok. This is where it gets tricky, usually there is a 1:800 chance anyone will have a DS child...having 3 "issues" takes that risk to 1:57. Ok, but here is where my math skills go out the window. Apparently a 1:57 chance still means that she's got a 95% shot at being perfectly fine with no complications. Those are pretty good odds, but I was so worked up in the 1:57 and the "hundred fold" comment that I was toast. I kept myself totally together until he started having the termination talk and if I would keep her if she did have DS. I told him I would and he said how lucky she was...blah blah blah. That is when I started to cry. Jim was working overnights and wasn't with me at this appointment so I know that I scared him to death when I showed up at home all red in the face and crying. Sorry baby.
We call our family and give them the news and since I can't go 10 minutes without crying I take the next day off.
We go to our regular OB a few days later and he says there is no reason for concern and that we should go get a 2nd opinion from a friend of his. He's in Torrance, but worth the drive.
So on Wednesday we drive to the 2nd opinion Dr. He has a lovely bedside manner and we go through all the issues. He takes a look and confirms the findings, however he explains them as a freckle in the heart and brain not a cyst or calcium. He also says they are harmless and will go away. Of course there are chances for problems, but the chance are so minimal. He says the issue with the kidney is most likely just a little underdeveloped, I am only 20 weeks along. They just need to get stronger and if they don't we'll take care of it later.
Wouldn't you rather hear that you have a freckle than a cyst? Wouldn't you rather hear that you have a 95% chance that all will be well instead of the 5%? Some of you will say that he was only doing his job and that we need to be informed, however the delivery of the information can make such a huge difference. Let's be a little have full next time, k doc?
I tell this story for all of those who are pregnant and have a doctor who is a little half empty. I guess my point is to find a doctor who likes to talk about the 95% and not the 5%.
Here's to freckles! By the way, have you seen my skin...of course my kids going to have freckles. I'd be surprised if they didn't find them on her lungs as well.
10 comments:
I love you..
That is so traumatic! I was so paranoid about anything going wrong with Jonah that I don't know how I would have taken that news. I'm glad you went to a second doctor.
I was also nervous I would have a bad experience with my doctor, so I spent hours and hours researching a good OB. I found a great one. I love her. She did such a great job with my c-section that you can hardly see the scar.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Very scary!
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Owen's ultrasound showed a cyst on his brain also. But our doc was a little more half-full and told us not to worry about it.
I'm glad you got a 2nd opinion. And I'm sorry you had to spend a few days being very emotional! It's amazing how strong those motherly attachments really are.
btw, are you in the Barty's ward? We're good friends with them from the single's ward.
I love you all
First, I am so grateful that everything is okay with your baby. But, mostly, I'm so grateful that you wrote about it. I love sharing those kinds of stories and what we go through as women, pregnant women, and moms. It's a community of support to lift each other up in hard or low times and to be happy for each other in great times. Thank you for sharing! I only feel bad I didn't know it was happening while it was going on so I could have offered more support to you. Love ya Kate!
Wow, you reel me in every time. Thanks so much for sharing. I love you two.
…and I think you’re child(ren) will be supremely blessed to have you guys as mommy & daddy.
That is traumatic...But first of all Yahoo for a girl! We love girls around our house (Sad...what if we didn't?) I have had so many friends that have been given the worst case like that and everything is fine in the end...I am sure whatever happens will be just perfect for you and Jim...I will pray for all things good though...good luck!
i'm so sorry you had to go through that traumatic experience. i pray that everything will go well.
yea for half full docs! there are few. glad you found one.
Wow Kate, i had no idea that you had all this drama surrounding your pregnancy! When my dad had cancer, MOST of the doctors had terrible bedside manner and it's amazing how much it depressed us. We nicknamed my dad's primary oncologist, doctor death. He met my dad in november and told him he was going to die any day. He ended up living 11 more months. My point is, doctors don't know Heavenly Fathers plan, and even if they have 'evidence' or whatever, they are often very wrong. I will pray that your baby is 100% healthy and i know that your baby will be perfect for you and Jim in every way. By the way, I love you too. Thanks for sharing.
Dewy had a small kidney and a small head (both of which were flags for DS) and we had to see a perinatologist and have bi-weekly ultrasounds...he was just fine. I agree with you, lets talk about the 95%, a little more full glass. Your baby will be wonderful and beautiful no matter what, she will be yours and you all will be fine. No worries. :) . I love freckles too.
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