Super Anniversary - Flashback Friday

Tomorrow, the 20th, is our 11th anniversary. You heard it ELEVEN! Pretty sweet eigh? I thought I'd take this opportunity to flashback a little with Jim.

Ahhhhh, it was a Monday in June of 1997 when I receive a phone call from this "Jim" character. I had heard about him because I had recently met his mom and she said he wanted to take me out. I had never met him, but I was at his homecoming 6 months before. I sat in the back and the only thing I can remember is that I was totally impressed when he, his 2 brothers and his dad sang in a quartet. I'm sure I melted right there in my seat.

Anyway, we talked for a bit and it was decided that we would go out the next day because I was leaving for my mission the following Tuesday. So we went to a 50's diner and miniature golfing. Jim said that besides going to the movies, mini golf was his second favorite thing to do. We had a great time and made a bet golfing that whoever lost would pay for lunch the next day...when we would drive to Mesa to do sealings. How do you like that for a 2nd date? So even though we were up way past curfew we drove the 2 hours to Mesa the next day to do sealings. It was a perfect time to talk and get to know each other. We joked with the sealer that if he just slipped our names in he could marry us instead.

(Jim & I in Mexico)

So it's Thursday now, and the rest of the week is a bit hazy. I had a friend coming in from out of town who was speaking at my farewell. She must have come into town on Friday or Saturday. But I remember very specifically that Jim was with me all the time, we were absolutely inseparable. I don't remember a day that we weren't together. I'm curious now about his job, did he even go that week? We went to Mexico one day to show my friend around and then it was Sunday. I gave my talk, said my goodbyes and accepted some gifts. At this point...two days before I'm to leave for the MTC I don't remember having the "stay" talk or even talking about marriage...but that all changed very quickly over the course of the next day.

It must have been on Sunday when Jim and I had the "stay" talk. He wrote and sang me a song too. We decided that we would call the Bishop and see if we could possibly postpone the mission just to see where it would take us. We called my Bishop from Jim's parents house, he was not to thrilled with the idea. The only thing I remember from the conversation is he said..."I can't believe you even prayed about it". Excuse me, isn't this one of the things I should be praying most for? I was very disheartened by his comments and knew that it was going to be bad. Jim's dad was quick to reply with a "you better get home before the Bishop calls and talks to your dad." We freak out a bit and race to my parents house. We weren't there 5 minutes when the Bishop calls. This is the part of the story that Jim does NOT like. I was talking on another line with my brother...behind closed doors when the phone rang. My dad goes over to Jim and says..."why does Katy need to speak to the Bishop?" "I don't know, lets just wait and see when she gets off the phone." Jim was frantically eating fortune cookies that happen to be at the end of the table. You know he was searching for one that would rescue him. I get off the phone and my dad dials the Bishop and hands me the phone. I think he told me that the Stake President was out of town and that he had put a call into somewhere else and that he would be in touch. Something like that. I am petrified of my dad at this point and I tell Jim to go and get them so we can have a chat. I believe my words were..."you go get them and you talk." Poor Jim.

So we gather in the living room and have a chat about me staying for a little while to see what happens with our relationship. Jim was fantastic in speaking with my parents. They didn't say much and mostly just stared. I start to cry and ask them to say something. They pretty much say to cool our jets and for me to go...we can write, it's only 18 months. Jim replies with, "that will be 18 months without her." It was very sweet. I get a little crazy and finally say..."FINE I'LL GO!" And then storm out. Jim chases after me, and since I picked him up I need to give him a ride home. He said that the entire ride home he was trying to figure out a way for me to change my mind and he had one more idea.

We arrive at his apartment complex, where his brother happens to live. He is married and I think just had one kid at the time...possibly two. They now have 6 kids and live in Alaska. We tell them what happened and Matt and Catherine begin to tell us "their story". They ended up eloping to the Manti temple because her parents didn't approve and told Matt that they never wanted to see him again. We were there for several hours, well into the morning and when they finished the spirit was so strong in the room it couldn't be denied. We all hugged and then we left. Walking back to Jim's apartment, I stop him and say..."marry me". He says that he is supposed to be the one to ask so he asks me and I say yes.

The next morning while my dad is unloading the dishwasher I tell him that I am not going on a mission and that we are getting married instead. My poor dad, we have never been the good communicator types so not much was said and that continued on for the next 3 months.

Looking back there are many tells that the mission wasn't for me. First of all, I never really wanted to go. I wasn't married and all my guy friends were on missions. I figured I'd buy some time and go so they would all be back when I was. My older brother and sister went, I was next in line so it felt like that's what I was supposed to do. My parents seemed so proud of the idea, so that was the ultimate reason. The major tell for me that I didn't recognize until years later was that I didn't unwrap anything. When I did pack, I didn't take anything out of their wrappers. I packed a journal where the pages were still in the plastic wrap. It made for very easy returns. It's small, but it was like I was just going through the motions.

I have come to the conclusion that I needed the 6 months of mission preparation in order to hear the spirit speak on such an important eternal decision.

Less than 3 months later we were married on September 20, 1997 and in the San Diego Temple.

I'm happy to report that my parents are awesome and although we moved away quite quickly after we were married in order to put some space between the tension, our relationship has never been better.

I would love nothing better than to go back to that sassy 21 year old and perhaps communicated a little better the decision to get married to my parents. Don't you think had I said anything about the spiritual side of it and been a little more compassionate to how they were feeling with their crazy daughter making an even more crazy decision, we might have been able to alleviate some of the baggage? Lesson learned.

I love you baby!!! Happy Anniversary!